Many people intend to do things different next time, yet they rarely do. I live there as well. "I certainly won't do that again," we say. Yet before we know it, we're doing it again.
I think there are many layers to this issue, but one of them is this:
Sincere yet vague intentions rarely materialize
If we don't make a specific plan ahead of time about how we will behave differently, by the time we're in the situation, we are almost certain to behave just as we have every other time we've been in that situation. It is too late to map out a different course because we don't have the ability to see the big picture. We're in the thick of it, and our well worn decisions will apply again.
So when we have an intention to live differently, we need to make a plan for how, specifically, we will behave differently. And it has to be specific. And the specific plan has to take into account the most likely things that will prevent us from implementing the plan.
Doing so radically increases the likelihood that we will actually behave differently the next time.
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